Awww Skeet Skeet Skeet

Alright, someone obviously knew what they were doing when they penned this little jingle for Corn Nuts:



Pretty catchy though. I for one am gonna take their advice. Not this type of nut bust though:

Matching The Carpet To The Drapes

So apparently this site has been out for a while, but I'm just now getting to post about it. It's pubic hair dye for girls. Since when aren't girls completely shaved post 2001? All the cool chicks are doing it:



What's great is that one of the colors is "Hot Pink". This would be a great product to get for a new fraternity pledge class. It reminds me of an article I read not too long ago about girls' Hollywood pubic hairstyles:

The Tiffany Box is Bald everywhere except for a small square patch in front (about the size of a tiffany ring box), which is bleached, then dyed egg shell blue.

Sounds pretty interesting. I have to say, I have done extensive research on the Internet poring over photos and have yet to cum across one of these, let me know if you've seen one. Also, be sure to check out Shave the Pussy for an interactive experience of shaving, well, a pussy. Use shaving cream or you'll get razor bumps!

Manorexia

Anorexic
Evidence to the contrary

So Fox News covered a story by the Daily Mail suggesting that more men are suffering from anorexia and bulimia.

A Harvard University study released last year found that 25 percent of those with anorexia or bulimia and 40 percent of binge eaters were males.

I think this is pretty surprising, I actually take pride in binge eating to the point that I look like I'm pregnant; when the food creeps back up your throat you just reswallow and it's like getting a second meal for free! Although my roommmate did once try to start a rumor that I was bulimic and would just shower after eating and throw up into the bathtub drain.

Facial Exercise

This is what I imagine Hollywood liberals must look like when they sniff their own farts in all of their self-satisfied smugness:



Yet another reason why I wish I was born about 15 years earlier so that I could really enjoy the 80's during high school and college. I also really like Solidkingcobra's comment:

i bet you 5 dollas some one is jacking it to this video.

Agreed.

Warren Haynes Covers U2's One PLUS Daryl's House

I heard this on 94.7 up here in D.C. a few years ago, it is a live recording from Bonnaroo in 2004, from his CD Live at Bonnaroo. It was apparently the most requested song on that station for about a year, it's great.



Website

* SIDENOTE *


I just found out about this awesome website called Live from Daryl's House, Daryl being Daryl Hall from Hall & Oates (of Maneater fame). I know that sounds kind of stupid at first, as most people only know of Hall & Oates from their 80's hits, but they are actually sick musicians. The website features a different collaborator each week, recently featuring Chromeo, and they collaborate on all sorts of different songs in Daryl's different houses. I think it's an awesome website, plus you can subscribe to the free podcast as well. Check it out if you have a chance.

I Kind Of Hate To Do This

I'll bet this scores some votes for McCain

Alright, apparently Lindsay Lohan just decided to chime in on Sarah Palin in her latest blog post:

She said, "I find it quite interesting that a woman who now is running to be second in command of the United States, only 4 years ago had aspirations to be a television anchor, which is probably all she is qualified to be.

"Oh, and... Hint Hint Pali Pal - Don't pose for anymore tabloid covers, you're not a celebrity, you're running for office to represent our, your, my COUNTRY!"

There are honestly just so many things wrong with her thoughts I don't even feel like I have the energy to address them all, and that is just two paragraphs from her rant. 4 years ago she wanted to be a TV anchor? The last time she worked in television was 1988. 4 years ago she would have been gearing up for her successful gubernatorial campaign after just completing her stint as mayor of Wasilla. So she's clearly qualified to do more than just serve as a television anchor. And by the way, what the fuck exactly is Lindsay Lohan qualified to do?

Then she admonishes Palin for posing for tabloid covers. She must be referencing these:

That's right, Sarah Palin managed to pull-off exact mirror poses for two competing tabloid cover stories! And they both portray her negatively! The fact that Lindsay Lohan didn't even have the deductive reasoning skills to realize that Palin clearly didn't endorse or pose for these stories is a testament to how easy it must be to score drugs in California. In fact she may not even realize that she's dating a girl at the moment. Maybe she'll learn from this and not sound off on issues without even making an attempt to be accurate. And please, get off the hole and come back to the pole. Thanks....

Easy Star All-Stars Cover Radiohead's Karma Police

All covers this week. Here's the Easy Star All-Stars covering Karma Police, it's a really cool reggae version of the song. Enjoy.



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Tax Dollars At Work

So my friend Windsor wrote an article for The American Spectator this week that covers the failed D.C. Summer Jobs program. Not only did the program basically pay kids to do nothing all summer, but it cost 52.4 million dollars - up from an original budget of $14.5 million. Even the former mayor is dogging on the program.

Former D.C. Mayor Marion Barry, who created the program 29 years ago, called this year's "the most mismanaged programmatically and financially in the history of the program."

When you have a certified crack-head telling you that your program is joke, it's time to take a deeper look at what your doing and re-group. So it only makes logical sense that D.C. has now decided to set aside $2.7 million to PAY students to attend class.

For years, school officials have used detention, remedial classes, summer school and suspensions to turn around poorly behaved, underachieving middle school students, with little results. Now they are introducing a program that will pay students up to $100 per month for displaying good behavior.

Could you imagine being paid to go to school, by the government, when you were in middle school? Now imagine that you are paying for children (not your own) to go to school, because that's exactly what's happening. This decision is the brainchild of Michelle Rhee, who has been heralded as the new savior of the D.C. school system. This is the big idea she came up with. So instead of placing the burden of raising the child on the actual parents of the children in school, she places the responsibility in the hands of the hard workers who pay taxes and never got paid to receive their education. What welfare state?

Should I Be Worried About Being A Slave?

Today on The View, that bastion of objective political thinking, Whoopi Goldberg asked John McCain if she should be worried about being a slave again:

Personally I'm more worried about the fact that people in the audience clapped after she said that. How do you go about finding a whole room of complete idiots? But I guess she does have a point, as her continuing role on prime time television despite her plethora of stupid comments shows just what a tough time she's had clawing her way to the top in this repressive regime we call America. There is one group that's pretty racist towards her:

Quantum of Solace - New Trailer

Here is the new trailer for Quantum of Solace, the next James Bond movie:



I liked the old trailer better:



I hope it's good, after this report came out about James Bond drinking Coke Zero instead of a martini I was a little worried.


Uhh, nevermind, it'll be good.

Remembering 9/11

I've been sitting on this for about a week now until the anniversary of 9/11 came around. During the RNC convention, the GOP played this tribute to 9/11:



I think it's a good tribute, because it connects the other terrorist events that have happened before 9/11 as well; it's not just an isolated event. Plus, it really reminds people of the danger we are in and the type of events we are trying to prevent by having our troops across seas so that attacks like this don't happen at home. Of course, some members were clearly offended by this tribute to American citizens, chief among them Keith Olbermann:



Really? Give me a break. I'll tell you why you're offended. You know that anything that makes people want to vote on the issue of security will equal votes for the Republican party, that's why you're offended. MSNBC, your channel, is the only channel that replays the footage of 9/11 every year. You'd just rather people forget 9/11 when it's convenient to your cause. After all, you're clearly a liberal reporter; otherwise you wouldn't be posting comments to Daily Kos, one of the most leftist sites on the internet. But your lack of objectivity caught up with you, as you have now been fired from your job for being so partisan. I guess when you have Joe Scarborough calling out your contributors on live television you have to make some changes:



Anyway, I just thought anybody that didn't see the tribute might appreciate getting to watch it here, and if nothing else then today we can celebrate that Keith Olbermann got fired for being such an asshole.

Bloc Party - Ion Square; Biko

Bloc Party has a new CD coming out in October, you can go ahead and buy the whole thing digitally though online here.





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Crazy Asians

My friend Nikki posted a story here about how some Chinese companies have been recycling USED condoms to turn into hairbands.


Recycling condoms really isn't that unusual though, just ask Grandpa:



Gettin' hot ladies? Plus they are completely overlooking the gain from never having to buy hairgel again.

Mark Ronson and Amy Winehouse - Valerie

I've been busy today so not too many posts, I'm trying get some get some up now. This song is old but it's still badass, plus it gives me a reason to post fucked up pictures of Amy Winehouse. I hope she doesn't die before she get's another album out. You can guess when though here at whenwillamywinehousedie dot com.

Here she is scratching her nuts:


Drinking with a baby:


Buying a giant box of candy at 4 in the morning (doesn't Meth make you crave sweets?):


She just doesn't give a fuck.



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When you’re sitting in class, And you feel something splash, Gonorrhea, Gonorrhea

Interesting article today from Tami Dennis at the L.A. Times. What do you have to say Tami?

Within gender, women binge drinkers are three times as likely to have anal sex, and twice as likely to have multiple sex partners compared to women who do not drink alcohol.

OK, sounds promising. What next?

Compared to non-drinking women, women binge drinkers are also five times as likely to have gonorrhea.

God damnit, you couldn't just stop your reporting right there, could you Tami? I guess I should have seen that coming considering the title:

Binge drinking is fun -- until the gonorrhea diagnosis

Honestly though, if you can get past the burning and stay on pills for a week it's kind of worth it. I hear. I mean, at least it's not this:

X-Ray Insects

This website has some really cool x-ray photography of different insects like tarantulas, stick bugs and beetles. I think the insect above is a vinegaroon. The rest of the website has some other cool x-rays too. Nothing like this though:


Crazy college kids!

Movie Update - Spiderman, Dark Knight

Just a few updates about movies I'm interested in,it is being reported that both Tobey Maguire and Sam Raimi have signed on for Spiderman 4 and 5, which is awesome news, the 3rd movie was kind of a letdown because they just tried to do too much. They might try to shoot both at the same time too, which will lock everyone in and give the movies a set timetable. Sam Raimi is the best man for the job, when he was little he had his bedroom painted with a mural of Spiderman and had always wanted to make these movies. I don't think anyone else could do it better. We'll have to wait and see about the villains, though the Lizard is a definite possibility, as well as the Scorpion, the Vulture, and possibly a return of Venom, although that is already being developed into its own spin-off.






It would be awesome to have a Venom movie that included Carnage as an enemy, those characters were so cool when I was little and Carnage could be pretty crazy since he was a psycho serial killer. God I'm a fucking dork.

Next just an update on The Dark Knight, a recent interview with Aaron Eckhart confirms that the character of Two-Face is definitely dead. I really don't think that this is a huge deal, Christopher Nolan wanted to make a complete movie that wasn"t left open-ended for a sequel. He basically cared more about making a good movie then he did about creating a franchise for the studio, and whatever he's doing is working, so we'll just have to trust his judgement. Plus there is always the possibility that he would have a surprise, small role in the third installment, but don't expect a main character role.

* UPDATE *

My friend just emailed me this article of Michael Caine confirming that Johnny Depp will play the Riddler and Phillip Seymour Hoffman will play the Penguin. I'm still a little sceptical of this, I don't know A) that they would choose those characters or B) that they are anywhere near that point in casting, script, etc.

And finally here is a red-band preview for Zack and Mimi Make a Porno, it looks really funny.

Not Available on iTunes

Does this have a double meaning?

Once I tried to run, I tried to run and hide
But Jesus came and found me and He touched me down inside,
He is a like a Mounty, He always gets his man,
And He'll tap you anyway He can - Zap!

Yep, sounds totally hole-some.

Screech's Special Sauce

So yesterday I came across this video:

Which has a whole new unsavory flavor to it after the release of this:


But after that video I came across this:



Which then took me to a Saved by the Bell jackpot at this site. You can take a Bayside quiz, play SBTB photohunt, find out which character you are, and watch clips . It's a great waste of time, this show still cracks me up. Remember the episode where Zack started fucking the homeless chick that lived in the mall at Christmas? What a giver. After you're done there then you can check this out:

Natalie Portman's Shaved Head - Beard Lust

This is pretty funny, this band's name is Natalie Portman's Shaved Head, and the song is about having a beard. Pretty stupid, but funny, and I like the song.



Now someone needs to make a band called Scarlett Johansson's Hairy Vag and they can tour together.


Oh yeah...natural blonde.

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Earth First, Dignity Second

This makes me want to start forest fires:




Seriously, do these people have nothing better to do with their lives/time then go sit in the middle of the woods crying their douche-tears because someone cut down a tree? This pretty much sums it up:



Get a job and be a productive member of society instead screaming in the woods because you want to show how sensitive and caring you are about the loss of non-sentient life due to progress.

Blog Update

I've set the posts up now so that you can share them with people either through email or on Facebook. To email just click on the white envelope below and it'll will ask you to input the email addresses you want to send to. You can also put your cursor on the bookmark button and a drop down list should come up that will let you share the post on Facebook or other social sites.

Silly Fresh Dance Moves

This is awesome:


I think he Can Dance - Watch more free videos

Awesome. The only distraction is that stupid lady judge in the center who never shuts the fuck up and looks like fire marshall Bill.



Whatever she's on I want some:

McCain Taps VP

This is hilarious:



Can't blame him though, I've been looking all day for a video of the stripper/teacher from Varsity Blues for comparison's sake. Found a head shot though.



I think this look is better:




* UPDATE *

This site sums everything up pretty nicely.

Does It Offend You, Yeah? - Dawn of the Dead; Battle Royale

I heard about this band when stuff was going on with Coachella in CA, they've got some cool electronic sounds, the second song is all instrumental.





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Girlfriend Revenge

OK, this is pretty funny, apparently this guy's ex-girlfriend posted this video of him on the internet dancing and singing to Mariah Carey.



At least he didn't dress like her too, now THAT would have been embarrassing to watch. I think it's clear what his ex-girlfriend deserves though:



Looks like it HAD to hurt. Better ice it.

* UPDATE *

So I wanted to post a sound file from South Park, from the episode where Ms. Garrison goes lesbian and gets in a bar fight a says "Ow, you hit me right in the pussy." So I just performed the Google search "Garrison pussy clip south park", at work, like an idiot. Needless to say the results were not exactly what I was looking for. Is there a lot of South Park porn out there?

Today

Today is looking pretty grim, I've got tons of stuff to do but I'll try and post some stuff tonight. Just wanted to give an update, thanks for checking in, try back later...

Also, I have some friends that want to guest blogging here and there, I'll let you know when that's starting, I can't promise that they'll be as insightful, clever and witty as myself, but hopefully that will help to fill the void.

Striking Oil

OK, this is gross for those of you with a weak stomach. It seriously looks like an oil leak sprung up from underneath this guy. I'm expecting the announcer from The Beverly Hillbillies to say "Oil, that is. Texas Tea. Black Gold".

Brian Ford Fart Lighting Accident

Something similar happened to me senior year of college. My friend Kelly was driving me to the Chinese restaurant to get some Wonton soup when I was sick, and an inadvertent fart took a terrible turn for the worse. We had to pull a U-ey and he drove home with his head out the window, Ace Ventura style.


I never did get my soup.

Babymama Drama

So, a lot of interesting stuff happened over the weekend concerning McCain/Obama and the whole build-up to the election in November. I said last week that I thought McCain's pick of Sarah Palin was pretty brilliant... I still think she was a good choice and gained the campaign some publicity, but I'm not really sure how thoroughly they vetted her before the decision. All of these revelations about her daughter being pregnant, husband's past DUI...honestly who cares, that really says nothing about her and her political abilities. If having a past DUI at 22 is really that important than half of my friends are screwed (you know who you are). And as far as the teen pregnancy thing goes, as long as they didn't go on Maury to find out the results I don't think it'll have too large of an impact...although this could have been an interesting development in the race:



I think the bigger question is on McCain's decision making, was this a hastily-decided choice or was his camp aware all of this would come out and went with her anyway? They definitely knew about the teen pregnancy, but probably wanted to announce it at a later time when they could garner more press. Instead, they had to release it combat claims that the daughter had given birth to Trig, the baby with Down's Syndrome born to Gov. Palin in April. Pretty slimy, but not unexpected from the crowd who said Ronald Reagan was turning a crispy brown in hell before he was even in the ground.

Ultimately, the VP nominee isn't who we vote for in November, it's for the Presidential candidate. Every VP pick he could have gone with would be undergoing criticism right now, as well as praise. Pawlenty and Romney would be seen as more of the same-old white guy establishment, Ridge and Lieberman would be too liberal... Palin is having to undergo the same scrutiny now. It's honestly still too soon to see how capable she is, we'll have to wait and see how she does on the campaign trail and in the debates, but I like her political principles so far.

In related news, Bush conjured up another racist hurricane to send towards New Orleans to try and redirect some of the attention away from the new VP...do you think it worked? You can vote here on how at fault he is for Gustav.

Blog Update

What's up everybody, sorry to the 6 of you that read this but I took a little break over the holiday weekend, plus I was having some technical difficulties and actually had some work at my other job (you know, the one that pays). Anyway I am going to try to make a better effort to have some more original stuff and writing on here instead of just videos, but when I'm busy it may be a just videos of people farting and the like. Example:

"The Mexican Hangover"

Anyway, I hope everyone keeps checking back and I always appreciate feedback, even if I do delete it halfway through reading it. It's easy to start an account and post a comment too, just click on comments below and the site will direct you in creating an account. If you have Gmail you should already be good to go. Toodles, P.

Fingathing - Walk In Space

I haven't heard very many of their songs, but these guys seem to have some pretty cool beats, mostly just instrumental type rap.



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