Marvin Gaye - The Star-Spangled Banner

In honor of McCain's historic (and brilliant) VP choice today, here's Marvin Gaye making our national anthem sexy as hell.

Jason Prank

This is great, that woman would be so dead if that was an actual murderer.

Ouch

That really took the wind out of her sail. She falls like a sac of potatoes.

Lupe Fiasco - Mastered

Hey, can't get my music files to upload today, so instead I'll post this Youtube video:

Move That Boogie Body

I'll take three of whatever drinks she had before they filmed this.

*UPDATE*

After further inspection I think she might have huffed duster.

Embarassing

Daaammmnnnn. Jamie Foxx pretty much kills this guy's routine.

Mrs. Piggy

http://view.break.com/553413 - Watch more free videos

She kind of sounds like this girl my buddy Collin used to screw in college. Looks like her too.

McCain's Biggest Asset

So the big talk in politics today is all about Hillary Clinton's speech last night at the DNC convention, and the question of the impact it will have on the November election. Did it fully throw her support to Obama, bolster McCain, or just stay even? While Clinton may have appeared to fully throw her support (and supporters) to Obama, some believe that her convention role will ultimately end up keeping her supporters from backing him. As John Dickerson of Slate stated:

But there was one big flaw in the pitch: Clinton never made the case that Barack Obama was ready to lead as commander in chief.

Consider this: McCain ran the following ad last week using Hillary's own words against Obama:



The video shows Hillary's "3:00 AM" ad and her assertion that McCain would be better prepared as President than Obama. After the ad ran Clinton had to rebuke McCain's ads and say

I'm Hillary Clinton, and I do not approve that message

Yet after all that, she didn't think to state that Obama was ready to serve last night in her convention speech? Maybe we should look at things from her perspective. Consider what happens if Obama wins the 2008 election. That puts the next possible year for Clinton to run for the Presidency again at 2016, when she'll be 69, as Obama will get the 2012 run as the incumbent candidate. But what if Hillary can throw her supporters to McCain, who was long considered a "maverick" by the Democrats before he was running for the Presidency? For proof, check out these clips:



It wouldn't be unthinkable for her supporters to flock to him, and Obama's loss in this election cycle would make her the imminent front runner for the 2012 election, when she would still be relevant and would have spent the past 4 years gaining support. Of course Clinton can't blatantly advocate this path, but some of her supporters are clearly not on the Obama bandwagon after last night:



Now it just remains to be seen whether or not Hillary's supporters figure out that a vote for McCain in 2008 means a vote for Clinton in 2012. You can bet she's hoping they do.

The Caped Crusader

There is a new report out in The Telegraph reporting that Cher is in talks to be the next Catwoman in the third installment of Christopher Nolan's Batman movies, which they also claim is provisionally titled "The Caped Crusader".

"Cher is Nolan's first choice to play Catwoman. He wants to her to portray her like a vamp in her twilight years.

"The new Catwoman will be the absolute opposite of Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry's purring creations."

It also reasserts the claim the Johnny Depp is in talks to play the Riddler, which has been talked about for a while and I think would be pretty awesome. But Cher as Catwoman? I'm not really sure what I think about that. Maybe under his direction she could be great, but she's had a lot of plastic surgery and is getting pretty old - you just know she'd pee a little if she got socked in the gut while filming a fight scene. Another report from yesterday claims though that Nolan is on vacation and hasn't even decided whether or not to do a third film, so the validity of the Cher thing is definitely in question

"There are a lot of us who emotionally would love to do it," Roven says. "But it's really Chris' call. Chris is the kind of filmmaker who just doesn't think about the next movie before he has completely finished the movie he is working on."

For now, Nolan is taking a well-earned vacation.

Says Roven, "When he comes back, we will see how he feels."

In either case, I think she'd be a shoe-in for Gandalf in the new Hobbitt if Ian McKellen kicks the bucket before then.

"That Hurts"

-

Biggest Fart

This has been around for a while, but it cracks me up everytime. It's pretty incredible

The Moderate - Lost, Boy; Rock and Roll

I went to college with Jim Dempsey and have been watching him play since I came up to D.C. He's joined up with Drew Marks and Mike Maloney to form The Moderate, and they've made some great songs together - if you like the two below then be sure to check out Blue Eyes & Barflies, Tall Grass, and Ain't Enough, all from their album AM/FM. If you're in D.C. then you can catch them live Sept. 9 at The Black Cat - always a good time.




Myspace Page

A Heart of Gold,

a chair with wheels and a leg of PVC. This sad story out of New York might have been preventable had she only known some of these moves:



Instead I think it looked more like this. Without the laughing:



One way ticket to hell, please.

"So Wet You'll Need a Raincoat"

With these at least you don't have to waste the peanut butter.

Top 80's Dance Scenes

Thanks to John with some help on this, bookmark this and come back to it whenever you're having a bad day. These never fail to crack me up.


10. Rad (Aunt Becky never did any of that shit in Full House)


9. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2


8. Mac & Me (Weird, but McDonald's would be a lot cooler if this happened on a regular basis there)


7. Breakfeast Club


6. Teen Wolf (He looks like the coked-up werewolf from Conan O'Brien)


5. Can't Buy Me Love ("Aww, he must be in special ed.")


via
4. Ferris Bueller's Day Off


3. Teen Witch ("Look at how funky he is. I'll never be hip")


2.Footloose (Just like I remember my high school prom)


1. Once Bitten (This honestly deserves an Oscar. Sick.)

Middle-East Midget

This is what happened to the little-known third son of Saddam who survived:



Sick moves, his next stop is back-up dancing in a Missy Elliott video. For some reason the video doesn't have sound, so you can listen to one of these at the same time for a more enjoyable experience.



*UPDATE*

Holy shit this goes good with Jungle Boogie.

Not Cool

I can't believe no one has thought to test this before, I guess it's really not that surprising if you think about it.



I wonder which restaurants in D.C. do this? I also wonder what the results for really common stuff like tuna and salmon were.

Taj Mahal - Hanapepe Dream

This song is an instrumental from a CD that came out a few years ago, but I heard it on XM a while back and thought it was just a really cool, chill song.



Myspace Page

Today's Links - 8/25/08

This is really cool, my mom sent it to me (thanks Pam). It shows you what song was number 1 on the day that you were born (mine was "Jack and Diane".)

Cracked has a funny article on the stupid ways celebrities try to "go green." Slate also has a good article deriding the new Planet Green network with that bag-of-douche from Entourage on it. Uhh, can someone explain to me how doing pull-ups on a tree branch is good for the environment? That sounds really fucking stupid.

This site basically lets you type in any song and find a link somewhere to play it, let's you find similar music, lets you share it with friends...just a good all around tool to know about.

For those of you with iPhones this link tells you about some cool new apps available...the Shazam app is really cool.


And finally, Cuba is now approaching China for most unsportsmanlike conduct in the Olympics ("unsportsman-rike" to the Chinese). And today Castro defended this guy. Either way, he totally gave that ref beaver-face.

Lightmark

This website has some really cool photos that must be long-exposure or something to capture these light trails. The site's in some Scandinavian language so I'm not really sure what they did, but the pictures look really cool.




(Through Neatorama)

Top 20 Scary Moments

Spill has a pretty good list about the top disturbing moments in movies. I personally love a good horror movie, they may be cheesy and unrealistic but they keep me entertained. There are some though that are beyond entertaining and are just absolutely terrifying. This list covers some great horror movies, some really sick ones, and some that are practically unwatchable. Notably missing though is the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, probably the scariest movie I've ever seen.

Baseball and Football

This is great - George Carlin on the differences between the two. Baseball doesn't come out on top. How you like that Beau?

Twerk Sumthin

Baby showers are suddenly looking more appealing:



She apparently didn't heed the age-old proverb "Work that body, work that body, make sure you don't hurt nobody."

Black Kids - Partie Traumatic

These guys have a show coming up in October at The Black Cat in D.C. I've only heard a few of their songs but they're pretty good and they're supposed to put on a good show. The name's a bit of a misnomer though.



Myspace Page

Best Head Explosions

Cotton and Sand has a list (with videos) of the best head explosions in movie history. It's pretty good, there are definitely a few that had me cracking up.



Hilarious, right? One that's notably missing though is this scene from Wes Craven's Deadly Friend.



Buffy the Vampire Slayer blowing up the mean old lady from the Goonies' head? With a basketball? Sweet.

"It's So Cold in the D"

"The D" being Detroit - and I think the temperature is the least of their worries.



This video seriously calls into question the notion that all black people have rhythm. It also calls into question the U.S. law that allows do-it-yourself haircoloring to be sold over the counter at CVS. At least it matches the shirt.

Like a Virgin

Well, didn't have to look too far today to find something offensive:


What are those things to the left and right of her crotch? Decoy vaginas? This picture is from her new music tour, where she apparently has a video montage that compares John McCain to Adolf Hitler and Robert Mugabe. Sorry saggy tits, just because you'd make a great Presidential cocksucker doesn't really make you qualified to call McCain a Nazi.


Her dad must be proud, but hey, at least she's good at something.

Ray LaMontagne - Hold You In My Arms; Trouble

Ray LaMontagne is in that same vein as Ben Harper, Jack Johnson, Amos Lee, etc., but he definitely has a unique voice, he has some great songs.





Myspace Page

Stripper Blooper

God, don't quit your day job.

The hilarity starts at about 2:30 in:


I'm not really sure if she survives

Nikki B's Blog, Meow

That little journalist Nikki B has her own blog right here on Blogger as well. Like a Katie Couric that doesn't fucking suck, Nikki's blog covers everything from animal rights to politics, to celeb updates and everything in between. Check it out here:

Life in the Nikki & Kinki-dom

And don't forget to leave her a "Meow" or two in her comments.

Way To Go Girls!

Glad to see some people out there who still have some respect for the President.



Whether they agree with his politics or not, they're at least appreciative that the most powerful man in the world came out to support them and their country. Go USA!

What Does He Put In The Finger Holes?

Dude better watch out, as slick as bowling alleys are he might fly down the lane and be mistaken for a gutter ball.


Armless Bowler Gets A Strike - Watch more free videos

Do you think they have to rent him one shoe for that little foot?

Oil Check

That's all...

2008 College Football Spreadsheet

The 2008 college football schedule is here, this spreadsheet is awesome. It lets you sort all of the schedules by conference, and you can then print individual schedules up at work if you want to post this somewhere in the office or at home. You can download it here:

2008_COLLEGE_FOOTBALL.xls

RJD2 - The Horror

This guy is badass, he does mostly instrumental stuff that kind of sounds like underground hip hop. He'll sample songs here and there though. If you like this check out "Ghostwriter" and " True Confessions."



Myspace Page

Internet Links - 8/21/08

Today's Links

The Washington Post has an article about how Pandora is on the verge of shutting down. I hope they find a way to resolve this, its a great way to find out about new music.

Here's an article about all the great Olympic sex the athletes are having in Beijing. I'm sure Michael Phelps' goofy ass is ear-deep in it.

No more Cheetos for Britney Spears? They go together like a grilled-cheese sandwich and tomato soup. I'll believe it when I see it.

Hip hop Republicans? Kind of makes sense in the same way that 50 Cent calls George W. "a gangsta" because he had the balls to go into Afghanistan and Iraq.

Those cheeky Brits.

The GUNshow

Favorite part: when he refers to the air hole as a "shaved vag"

Great dinner party guest, Craps McKenzie.

What a Jerk

This just shows that typical cop power-trip mentality. You know, I understand that the guy shouldn't have been on the phone and driving so fast, but just provide an escort or take the girl and dog to the vet while you deal with his speeding. I think I would have lost my shit when he said "It's just a dog, you can get another one."

Brett Dennen - She's Mine; Ain't No Reason

I just heard about this guy from a coworker, he's really good.





Myspace Page

Jimmy

Whatever Happened to Monopoly?

Hungry Hungry Hippos' lesser-known rival:

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Diseases I Could Live With

I just came across an article about a woman who has almost
200 orgasms a day. The story claims she "suffers" from Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome, but the big shit-eating grin on her face in her picture leads me to believe that we have two different definitions of suffering. Though this part of the story sounds like it could get dangerous:

"I was doing a bikini wax and you have to really concentrate and keep your hands very still, and mine go a bit wobbly when I orgasm. I had to pretend I had cramp in my foot and just stood there wriggling around on the spot and stifling my moans until it was over."

Apparently she developed it as a side effect of taking anti-depressants, so Prozac here we come!

It seems that British people get all of the cool diseases (probably as some sort of consulation prize for the teeth), because this story covers a man who is unable to get fat. He has a condition called lipodystrophy that causes him to produce too much insulin. He can eat anything he wants and as much as he wants without ever getting fat.

This disease sounds promising too. Kleine-Levin syndrome is characterized by excessive sleep (up to 20 hrs/day), excessive eating, and an abnormally uninhibited sexual drive. So basically you sleep all day and get up for 4 hours to feed and breed. PLUS you'd get a doctor's note excusing you from work, and they prescribe you uppers for treatment. Not too shabby. Unfortunately it's not contagious.

Colored Lakes

Environmental Graffiti has a cool post about different colored lakes from around the world, I'd love to be able to check some of these out. Maybe not the blood-colored one that stinks, but the others are cool.




The above lake is Five Flower Lake in China, near Tibet. There is a lot of dissolved calcium carbonate in the water that leaches in from the rocks below, so it not only makes the water ultra-clear but also preserves the tree trunks and debris on the bottom.



Environmental Graffiti

(Found through Neatorama)

Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire

Kings of Leon have a new album coming out towards the end of September, this is the first or second single they're releasing. These guys are really awesome in concert, I got to see them the last time they were in D.C. at the 9:30 Club, hopefully they'll be coming back around for this album.

Myspace Page

"I'm Walking on Sunshine"

Next time you think you have problems, watch this:



You kind of feel sorry for her, but then she gets that goofy look in her eyes and you can't help but laugh.

*UPDATE*

Here's the remix

Fupa Chalupa

The most ridiculous thing you'll see all day:

FUPA

The Teenagers - Vodka

The only thing that sucks - they're French. Meaning they look like this:





Myspace Page

Gymnastics Bloopers

Ghetto Ice Cream

I'd hate to see what these people would do for a Klondike bar...

The Roast of Bob Saget

Cloris Leachman may not have taken the title of "Dirtiest Old Woman in Hollywood" yet from Florence Henderson, but she's giving her a run for her money. Nothing beats the line from Jeffrey Ross at Pam Anderson's roast: "How is it that Kurt Cobain looks better than Courtney Love?" Ten years after he died. To Courtney Love's face.

Blockhead - Insomniac Olympics

I don't know too much about this guy, but this song is really cool, I'm gonna have to check out more of his stuff. Definitely good background music for work.

Insomniac Olympics

Myspace Page

Hi Everybody

So I've been thinking about starting a blog for a while now, if for nothing else then just to have an outlet for all of the useless trivia floating around inside my head. For those of you that enjoy my sometimes (read: always) inappropriate sense of humor, this should help you get more than your fill. I'm sure I'll throw in some politics, music, and local D.C. stuff whenever I see it, and hopefully can have some interesting stuff on here for those in the know. Drop me some comments and let me know any suggestions you have for the site, your feedback is appreciated. Here we go...