Pitt's Stains

Awww Skeet Skeet Skeet

2008-09-19T16:28:00.005-04:00

Alright, someone obviously knew what they were doing when they penned this little jingle for Corn Nuts:

Pretty catchy though. I for one am gonna take their advice. Not this type of nut bust though:

Matching The Carpet To The Drapes

2008-09-19T14:57:00.007-04:00

So apparently this site has been out for a while, but I'm just now getting to post about it. It's pubic hair dye for girls. Since when aren't girls completely shaved post 2001? All the cool chicks are doing it:

What's great is that one of the colors is "Hot Pink". This would be a great product to get for a new fraternity pledge class. It reminds me of an article I read not too long ago about girls' Hollywood pubic hairstyles:

The Tiffany Box is Bald everywhere except for a small square patch in front (about the size of a tiffany ring box), which is bleached, then dyed egg shell blue.

Sounds pretty interesting. I have to say, I have done extensive research on the Internet poring over photos and have yet to cum across one of these, let me know if you've seen one. Also, be sure to check out Shave the Pussy for an interactive experience of shaving, well, a pussy. Use shaving cream or you'll get razor bumps!

Manorexia

2008-09-19T10:13:00.008-04:00

Anorexic
Evidence to the contrary

So Fox News covered a story by the Daily Mail suggesting that more men are suffering from anorexia and bulimia.

A Harvard University study released last year found that 25 percent of those with anorexia or bulimia and 40 percent of binge eaters were males.

I think this is pretty surprising, I actually take pride in binge eating to the point that I look like I'm pregnant; when the food creeps back up your throat you just reswallow and it's like getting a second meal for free! Although my roommmate did once try to start a rumor that I was bulimic and would just shower after eating and throw up into the bathtub drain.

Facial Exercise

2008-09-19T09:54:00.003-04:00

This is what I imagine Hollywood liberals must look like when they sniff their own farts in all of their self-satisfied smugness:

Yet another reason why I wish I was born about 15 years earlier so that I could really enjoy the 80's during high school and college. I also really like Solidkingcobra's comment:

i bet you 5 dollas some one is jacking it to this video.

Agreed.

Warren Haynes Covers U2's One PLUS Daryl's House

2008-09-19T09:17:00.004-04:00

I heard this on 94.7 up here in D.C. a few years ago, it is a live recording from Bonnaroo in 2004, from his CD Live at Bonnaroo. It was apparently the most requested song on that station for about a year, it's great.

Website

* SIDENOTE *

I just found out about this awesome website called Live from Daryl's House, Daryl being Daryl Hall from Hall & Oates (of Maneater fame). I know that sounds kind of stupid at first, as most people only know of Hall & Oates from their 80's hits, but they are actually sick musicians. The website features a different collaborator each week, recently featuring Chromeo, and they collaborate on all sorts of different songs in Daryl's different houses. I think it's an awesome website, plus you can subscribe to the free podcast as well. Check it out if you have a chance.

I Kind Of Hate To Do This

2008-09-15T11:06:00.009-04:00

I'll bet this scores some votes for McCain

Alright, apparently Lindsay Lohan just decided to chime in on Sarah Palin in her latest blog post:

She said, "I find it quite interesting that a woman who now is running to be second in command of the United States, only 4 years ago had aspirations to be a television anchor, which is probably all she is qualified to be.

"Oh, and... Hint Hint Pali Pal - Don't pose for anymore tabloid covers, you're not a celebrity, you're running for office to represent our, your, my COUNTRY!"

There are honestly just so many things wrong with her thoughts I don't even feel like I have the energy to address them all, and that is just two paragraphs from her rant. 4 years ago she wanted to be a TV anchor? The last time she worked in television was 1988. 4 years ago she would have been gearing up for her successful gubernatorial campaign after just completing her stint as mayor of Wasilla. So she's clearly qualified to do more than just serve as a television anchor. And by the way, what the fuck exactly is Lindsay Lohan qualified to do?

Then she admonishes Palin for posing for tabloid covers. She must be referencing these:

That's right, Sarah Palin managed to pull-off exact mirror poses for two competing tabloid cover stories! And they both portray her negatively! The fact that Lindsay Lohan didn't even have the deductive reasoning skills to realize that Palin clearly didn't endorse or pose for these stories is a testament to how easy it must be to score drugs in California. In fact she may not even realize that she's dating a girl at the moment. Maybe she'll learn from this and not sound off on issues without even making an attempt to be accurate. And please, get off the hole and come back to the pole. Thanks....

Easy Star All-Stars Cover Radiohead's Karma Police

2008-09-15T09:36:00.004-04:00

All covers this week. Here's the Easy Star All-Stars covering Karma Police, it's a really cool reggae version of the song. Enjoy.

MySpace Page

Tax Dollars At Work

2008-09-12T17:30:00.006-04:00

So my friend Windsor wrote an article for The American Spectator this week that covers the failed D.C. Summer Jobs program. Not only did the program basically pay kids to do nothing all summer, but it cost 52.4 million dollars - up from an original budget of $14.5 million. Even the former mayor is dogging on the program.

Former D.C. Mayor Marion Barry, who created the program 29 years ago, called this year's "the most mismanaged programmatically and financially in the history of the program."

When you have a certified crack-head telling you that your program is joke, it's time to take a deeper look at what your doing and re-group. So it only makes logical sense that D.C. has now decided to set aside $2.7 million to PAY students to attend class.

For years, school officials have used detention, remedial classes, summer school and suspensions to turn around poorly behaved, underachieving middle school students, with little results. Now they are introducing a program that will pay students up to $100 per month for displaying good behavior.

Could you imagine being paid to go to school, by the government, when you were in middle school? Now imagine that you are paying for children (not your own) to go to school, because that's exactly what's happening. This decision is the brainchild of Michelle Rhee, who has been heralded as the new savior of the D.C. school system. This is the big idea she came up with. So instead of placing the burden of raising the child on the actual parents of the children in school, she places the responsibility in the hands of the hard workers who pay taxes and never got paid to receive their education. What welfare state?

Should I Be Worried About Being A Slave?

2008-09-12T17:13:00.005-04:00

Today on The View, that bastion of objective political thinking, Whoopi Goldberg asked John McCain if she should be worried about being a slave again:

Personally I'm more worried about the fact that people in the audience clapped after she said that. How do you go about finding a whole room of complete idiots? But I guess she does have a point, as her continuing role on prime time television despite her plethora of stupid comments shows just what a tough time she's had clawing her way to the top in this repressive regime we call America. There is one group that's pretty racist towards her:

Quantum of Solace - New Trailer

2008-09-11T16:56:00.003-04:00

Here is the new trailer for Quantum of Solace, the next James Bond movie:

I liked the old trailer better:

I hope it's good, after this report came out about James Bond drinking Coke Zero instead of a martini I was a little worried.

Uhh, nevermind, it'll be good.

Remembering 9/11

2008-09-11T15:27:00.007-04:00

I've been sitting on this for about a week now until the anniversary of 9/11 came around. During the RNC convention, the GOP played this tribute to 9/11:

I think it's a good tribute, because it connects the other terrorist events that have happened before 9/11 as well; it's not just an isolated event. Plus, it really reminds people of the danger we are in and the type of events we are trying to prevent by having our troops across seas so that attacks like this don't happen at home. Of course, some members were clearly offended by this tribute to American citizens, chief among them Keith Olbermann:

Really? Give me a break. I'll tell you why you're offended. You know that anything that makes people want to vote on the issue of security will equal votes for the Republican party, that's why you're offended. MSNBC, your channel, is the only channel that replays the footage of 9/11 every year. You'd just rather people forget 9/11 when it's convenient to your cause. After all, you're clearly a liberal reporter; otherwise you wouldn't be posting comments to Daily Kos, one of the most leftist sites on the internet. But your lack of objectivity caught up with you, as you have now been fired from your job for being so partisan. I guess when you have Joe Scarborough calling out your contributors on live television you have to make some changes:

Anyway, I just thought anybody that didn't see the tribute might appreciate getting to watch it here, and if nothing else then today we can celebrate that Keith Olbermann got fired for being such an asshole.

Bloc Party - Ion Square; Biko

2008-09-11T14:29:00.005-04:00

Bloc Party has a new CD coming out in October, you can go ahead and buy the whole thing digitally though online here.

MySpace Page

Crazy Asians

2008-09-10T18:02:00.003-04:00

My friend Nikki posted a story here about how some Chinese companies have been recycling USED condoms to turn into hairbands.

Recycling condoms really isn't that unusual though, just ask Grandpa:

Gettin' hot ladies? Plus they are completely overlooking the gain from never having to buy hairgel again.

Mark Ronson and Amy Winehouse - Valerie

2008-09-10T17:37:00.008-04:00

I've been busy today so not too many posts, I'm trying get some get some up now. This song is old but it's still badass, plus it gives me a reason to post fucked up pictures of Amy Winehouse. I hope she doesn't die before she get's another album out. You can guess when though here at whenwillamywinehousedie dot com.

Here she is scratching her nuts:

Drinking with a baby:

Buying a giant box of candy at 4 in the morning (doesn't Meth make you crave sweets?):

She just doesn't give a fuck.

MySpace Page

When you’re sitting in class, And you feel something splash, Gonorrhea, Gonorrhea

2008-09-09T14:42:00.008-04:00

Interesting article today from Tami Dennis at the L.A. Times. What do you have to say Tami?

Within gender, women binge drinkers are three times as likely to have anal sex, and twice as likely to have multiple sex partners compared to women who do not drink alcohol.

OK, sounds promising. What next?

Compared to non-drinking women, women binge drinkers are also five times as likely to have gonorrhea.

God damnit, you couldn't just stop your reporting right there, could you Tami? I guess I should have seen that coming considering the title:

Binge drinking is fun -- until the gonorrhea diagnosis

Honestly though, if you can get past the burning and stay on pills for a week it's kind of worth it. I hear. I mean, at least it's not this:

X-Ray Insects

2008-09-09T12:11:00.007-04:00

This website has some really cool x-ray photography of different insects like tarantulas, stick bugs and beetles. I think the insect above is a vinegaroon. The rest of the website has some other cool x-rays too. Nothing like this though:

Crazy college kids!

Movie Update - Spiderman, Dark Knight

2008-09-09T11:04:00.009-04:00

Just a few updates about movies I'm interested in,it is being reported that both Tobey Maguire and Sam Raimi have signed on for Spiderman 4 and 5, which is awesome news, the 3rd movie was kind of a letdown because they just tried to do too much. They might try to shoot both at the same time too, which will lock everyone in and give the movies a set timetable. Sam Raimi is the best man for the job, when he was little he had his bedroom painted with a mural of Spiderman and had always wanted to make these movies. I don't think anyone else could do it better. We'll have to wait and see about the villains, though the Lizard is a definite possibility, as well as the Scorpion, the Vulture, and possibly a return of Venom, although that is already being developed into its own spin-off.

It would be awesome to have a Venom movie that included Carnage as an enemy, those characters were so cool when I was little and Carnage could be pretty crazy since he was a psycho serial killer. God I'm a fucking dork.

Next just an update on The Dark Knight, a recent interview with Aaron Eckhart confirms that the character of Two-Face is definitely dead. I really don't think that this is a huge deal, Christopher Nolan wanted to make a complete movie that wasn"t left open-ended for a sequel. He basically cared more about making a good movie then he did about creating a franchise for the studio, and whatever he's doing is working, so we'll just have to trust his judgement. Plus there is always the possibility that he would have a surprise, small role in the third installment, but don't expect a main character role.

* UPDATE *

My friend just emailed me this article of Michael Caine confirming that Johnny Depp will play the Riddler and Phillip Seymour Hoffman will play the Penguin. I'm still a little sceptical of this, I don't know A) that they would choose those characters or B) that they are anywhere near that point in casting, script, etc.

And finally here is a red-band preview for Zack and Mimi Make a Porno, it looks really funny.

Not Available on iTunes

2008-09-09T10:55:00.004-04:00

Does this have a double meaning?

Once I tried to run, I tried to run and hide
But Jesus came and found me and He touched me down inside,
He is a like a Mounty, He always gets his man,
And He'll tap you anyway He can - Zap!

Yep, sounds totally hole-some.

Screech's Special Sauce

2008-09-09T10:09:00.007-04:00

So yesterday I came across this video:

Which has a whole new unsavory flavor to it after the release of this:

But after that video I came across this:

Which then took me to a Saved by the Bell jackpot at this site. You can take a Bayside quiz, play SBTB photohunt, find out which character you are, and watch clips . It's a great waste of time, this show still cracks me up. Remember the episode where Zack started fucking the homeless chick that lived in the mall at Christmas? What a giver. After you're done there then you can check this out:

Natalie Portman's Shaved Head - Beard Lust

2008-09-09T09:56:00.006-04:00

This is pretty funny, this band's name is Natalie Portman's Shaved Head, and the song is about having a beard. Pretty stupid, but funny, and I like the song.

Now someone needs to make a band called Scarlett Johansson's Hairy Vag and they can tour together.

Oh yeah...natural blonde.

MySpace Page

Earth First, Dignity Second

2008-09-08T15:53:00.005-04:00

This makes me want to start forest fires:

Seriously, do these people have nothing better to do with their lives/time then go sit in the middle of the woods crying their douche-tears because someone cut down a tree? This pretty much sums it up:

Get a job and be a productive member of society instead screaming in the woods because you want to show how sensitive and caring you are about the loss of non-sentient life due to progress.

Blog Update

2008-09-08T15:06:00.006-04:00

I've set the posts up now so that you can share them with people either through email or on Facebook. To email just click on the white envelope below and it'll will ask you to input the email addresses you want to send to. You can also put your cursor on the bookmark button and a drop down list should come up that will let you share the post on Facebook or other social sites.

Silly Fresh Dance Moves

2008-09-08T14:55:00.002-04:00

This is awesome:

I think he Can Dance - Watch more free videos

Awesome. The only distraction is that stupid lady judge in the center who never shuts the fuck up and looks like fire marshall Bill.

Whatever she's on I want some:

McCain Taps VP

2008-09-08T13:27:00.013-04:00

This is hilarious:

Can't blame him though, I've been looking all day for a video of the stripper/teacher from Varsity Blues for comparison's sake. Found a head shot though.

I think this look is better:

* UPDATE *

This site sums everything up pretty nicely.

Does It Offend You, Yeah? - Dawn of the Dead; Battle Royale

2008-09-08T13:21:00.005-04:00

I heard about this band when stuff was going on with Coachella in CA, they've got some cool electronic sounds, the second song is all instrumental.

MySpace Page

Girlfriend Revenge

2008-09-04T15:46:00.004-04:00

OK, this is pretty funny, apparently this guy's ex-girlfriend posted this video of him on the internet dancing and singing to Mariah Carey.

At least he didn't dress like her too, now THAT would have been embarrassing to watch. I think it's clear what his ex-girlfriend deserves though:

Looks like it HAD to hurt. Better ice it.

* UPDATE *

So I wanted to post a sound file from South Park, from the episode where Ms. Garrison goes lesbian and gets in a bar fight a says "Ow, you hit me right in the pussy." So I just performed the Google search "Garrison pussy clip south park", at work, like an idiot. Needless to say the results were not exactly what I was looking for. Is there a lot of South Park porn out there?

Today

2008-09-03T13:45:00.003-04:00

Today is looking pretty grim, I've got tons of stuff to do but I'll try and post some stuff tonight. Just wanted to give an update, thanks for checking in, try back later...

Also, I have some friends that want to guest blogging here and there, I'll let you know when that's starting, I can't promise that they'll be as insightful, clever and witty as myself, but hopefully that will help to fill the void.

Striking Oil

2008-09-02T12:28:00.007-04:00

OK, this is gross for those of you with a weak stomach. It seriously looks like an oil leak sprung up from underneath this guy. I'm expecting the announcer from The Beverly Hillbillies to say "Oil, that is. Texas Tea. Black Gold".

Brian Ford Fart Lighting Accident

Something similar happened to me senior year of college. My friend Kelly was driving me to the Chinese restaurant to get some Wonton soup when I was sick, and an inadvertent fart took a terrible turn for the worse. We had to pull a U-ey and he drove home with his head out the window, Ace Ventura style.

I never did get my soup.

Babymama Drama

2008-09-02T11:02:00.006-04:00

So, a lot of interesting stuff happened over the weekend concerning McCain/Obama and the whole build-up to the election in November. I said last week that I thought McCain's pick of Sarah Palin was pretty brilliant... I still think she was a good choice and gained the campaign some publicity, but I'm not really sure how thoroughly they vetted her before the decision. All of these revelations about her daughter being pregnant, husband's past DUI...honestly who cares, that really says nothing about her and her political abilities. If having a past DUI at 22 is really that important than half of my friends are screwed (you know who you are). And as far as the teen pregnancy thing goes, as long as they didn't go on Maury to find out the results I don't think it'll have too large of an impact...although this could have been an interesting development in the race:

I think the bigger question is on McCain's decision making, was this a hastily-decided choice or was his camp aware all of this would come out and went with her anyway? They definitely knew about the teen pregnancy, but probably wanted to announce it at a later time when they could garner more press. Instead, they had to release it combat claims that the daughter had given birth to Trig, the baby with Down's Syndrome born to Gov. Palin in April. Pretty slimy, but not unexpected from the crowd who said Ronald Reagan was turning a crispy brown in hell before he was even in the ground.

Ultimately, the VP nominee isn't who we vote for in November, it's for the Presidential candidate. Every VP pick he could have gone with would be undergoing criticism right now, as well as praise. Pawlenty and Romney would be seen as more of the same-old white guy establishment, Ridge and Lieberman would be too liberal... Palin is having to undergo the same scrutiny now. It's honestly still too soon to see how capable she is, we'll have to wait and see how she does on the campaign trail and in the debates, but I like her political principles so far.

In related news, Bush conjured up another racist hurricane to send towards New Orleans to try and redirect some of the attention away from the new VP...do you think it worked? You can vote here on how at fault he is for Gustav.

Blog Update

2008-09-02T10:54:00.006-04:00

What's up everybody, sorry to the 6 of you that read this but I took a little break over the holiday weekend, plus I was having some technical difficulties and actually had some work at my other job (you know, the one that pays). Anyway I am going to try to make a better effort to have some more original stuff and writing on here instead of just videos, but when I'm busy it may be a just videos of people farting and the like. Example:

"The Mexican Hangover"

Anyway, I hope everyone keeps checking back and I always appreciate feedback, even if I do delete it halfway through reading it. It's easy to start an account and post a comment too, just click on comments below and the site will direct you in creating an account. If you have Gmail you should already be good to go. Toodles, P.

Fingathing - Walk In Space

2008-09-02T10:51:00.006-04:00

I haven't heard very many of their songs, but these guys seem to have some pretty cool beats, mostly just instrumental type rap.

MySpace

Marvin Gaye - The Star-Spangled Banner

2008-08-29T13:51:00.003-04:00

In honor of McCain's historic (and brilliant) VP choice today, here's Marvin Gaye making our national anthem sexy as hell.

Jason Prank

2008-08-28T17:01:00.008-04:00

This is great, that woman would be so dead if that was an actual murderer.

Ouch

2008-08-28T15:30:00.003-04:00

That really took the wind out of her sail. She falls like a sac of potatoes.

Lupe Fiasco - Mastered

2008-08-28T15:17:00.002-04:00

Hey, can't get my music files to upload today, so instead I'll post this Youtube video:

Move That Boogie Body

2008-08-28T14:43:00.006-04:00

I'll take three of whatever drinks she had before they filmed this.

*UPDATE*

After further inspection I think she might have huffed duster.

Embarassing

2008-08-28T14:15:00.002-04:00

Daaammmnnnn. Jamie Foxx pretty much kills this guy's routine.

Mrs. Piggy

2008-08-27T17:46:00.001-04:00

http://view.break.com/553413 - Watch more free videos

She kind of sounds like this girl my buddy Collin used to screw in college. Looks like her too.

McCain's Biggest Asset

2008-08-27T15:21:00.005-04:00

So the big talk in politics today is all about Hillary Clinton's speech last night at the DNC convention, and the question of the impact it will have on the November election. Did it fully throw her support to Obama, bolster McCain, or just stay even? While Clinton may have appeared to fully throw her support (and supporters) to Obama, some believe that her convention role will ultimately end up keeping her supporters from backing him. As John Dickerson of Slate stated:

But there was one big flaw in the pitch: Clinton never made the case that Barack Obama was ready to lead as commander in chief.

Consider this: McCain ran the following ad last week using Hillary's own words against Obama:

The video shows Hillary's "3:00 AM" ad and her assertion that McCain would be better prepared as President than Obama. After the ad ran Clinton had to rebuke McCain's ads and say

I'm Hillary Clinton, and I do not approve that message

Yet after all that, she didn't think to state that Obama was ready to serve last night in her convention speech? Maybe we should look at things from her perspective. Consider what happens if Obama wins the 2008 election. That puts the next possible year for Clinton to run for the Presidency again at 2016, when she'll be 69, as Obama will get the 2012 run as the incumbent candidate. But what if Hillary can throw her supporters to McCain, who was long considered a "maverick" by the Democrats before he was running for the Presidency? For proof, check out these clips:

It wouldn't be unthinkable for her supporters to flock to him, and Obama's loss in this election cycle would make her the imminent front runner for the 2012 election, when she would still be relevant and would have spent the past 4 years gaining support. Of course Clinton can't blatantly advocate this path, but some of her supporters are clearly not on the Obama bandwagon after last night:

Now it just remains to be seen whether or not Hillary's supporters figure out that a vote for McCain in 2008 means a vote for Clinton in 2012. You can bet she's hoping they do.

The Caped Crusader

2008-08-27T12:05:00.004-04:00

There is a new report out in The Telegraph reporting that Cher is in talks to be the next Catwoman in the third installment of Christopher Nolan's Batman movies, which they also claim is provisionally titled "The Caped Crusader".

"Cher is Nolan's first choice to play Catwoman. He wants to her to portray her like a vamp in her twilight years.

"The new Catwoman will be the absolute opposite of Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry's purring creations."

It also reasserts the claim the Johnny Depp is in talks to play the Riddler, which has been talked about for a while and I think would be pretty awesome. But Cher as Catwoman? I'm not really sure what I think about that. Maybe under his direction she could be great, but she's had a lot of plastic surgery and is getting pretty old - you just know she'd pee a little if she got socked in the gut while filming a fight scene. Another report from yesterday claims though that Nolan is on vacation and hasn't even decided whether or not to do a third film, so the validity of the Cher thing is definitely in question

"There are a lot of us who emotionally would love to do it," Roven says. "But it's really Chris' call. Chris is the kind of filmmaker who just doesn't think about the next movie before he has completely finished the movie he is working on."

For now, Nolan is taking a well-earned vacation.

Says Roven, "When he comes back, we will see how he feels."

In either case, I think she'd be a shoe-in for Gandalf in the new Hobbitt if Ian McKellen kicks the bucket before then.

"That Hurts"

2008-08-27T11:23:00.003-04:00

Biggest Fart

2008-08-27T10:43:00.002-04:00

This has been around for a while, but it cracks me up everytime. It's pretty incredible

The Moderate - Lost, Boy; Rock and Roll

2008-08-27T09:29:00.005-04:00

I went to college with Jim Dempsey and have been watching him play since I came up to D.C. He's joined up with Drew Marks and Mike Maloney to form The Moderate, and they've made some great songs together - if you like the two below then be sure to check out Blue Eyes & Barflies, Tall Grass, and Ain't Enough, all from their album AM/FM. If you're in D.C. then you can catch them live Sept. 9 at The Black Cat - always a good time.

Myspace Page

A Heart of Gold,

2008-08-26T14:57:00.003-04:00

a chair with wheels and a leg of PVC. This sad story out of New York might have been preventable had she only known some of these moves:

Instead I think it looked more like this. Without the laughing:

One way ticket to hell, please.

"So Wet You'll Need a Raincoat"

2008-08-26T14:51:00.004-04:00

With these at least you don't have to waste the peanut butter.

Top 80's Dance Scenes

2008-08-26T13:50:00.005-04:00

Thanks to John with some help on this, bookmark this and come back to it whenever you're having a bad day. These never fail to crack me up.

10. Rad (Aunt Becky never did any of that shit in Full House)

9. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2

8. Mac & Me (Weird, but McDonald's would be a lot cooler if this happened on a regular basis there)

7. Breakfeast Club

6. Teen Wolf (He looks like the coked-up werewolf from Conan O'Brien)

5. Can't Buy Me Love ("Aww, he must be in special ed.")

via
4. Ferris Bueller's Day Off

3. Teen Witch ("Look at how funky he is. I'll never be hip")

2.Footloose (Just like I remember my high school prom)

1. Once Bitten (This honestly deserves an Oscar. Sick.)

Middle-East Midget

2008-08-26T11:31:00.004-04:00

This is what happened to the little-known third son of Saddam who survived:

Sick moves, his next stop is back-up dancing in a Missy Elliott video. For some reason the video doesn't have sound, so you can listen to one of these at the same time for a more enjoyable experience.

*UPDATE*

Holy shit this goes good with Jungle Boogie.

Not Cool

2008-08-26T09:55:00.005-04:00

I can't believe no one has thought to test this before, I guess it's really not that surprising if you think about it.

I wonder which restaurants in D.C. do this? I also wonder what the results for really common stuff like tuna and salmon were.

Taj Mahal - Hanapepe Dream

2008-08-26T09:13:00.004-04:00

This song is an instrumental from a CD that came out a few years ago, but I heard it on XM a while back and thought it was just a really cool, chill song.

Myspace Page

Today's Links - 8/25/08

2008-08-25T16:07:00.006-04:00

This is really cool, my mom sent it to me (thanks Pam). It shows you what song was number 1 on the day that you were born (mine was "Jack and Diane".)

Cracked has a funny article on the stupid ways celebrities try to "go green." Slate also has a good article deriding the new Planet Green network with that bag-of-douche from Entourage on it. Uhh, can someone explain to me how doing pull-ups on a tree branch is good for the environment? That sounds really fucking stupid.

This site basically lets you type in any song and find a link somewhere to play it, let's you find similar music, lets you share it with friends...just a good all around tool to know about.

For those of you with iPhones this link tells you about some cool new apps available...the Shazam app is really cool.

And finally, Cuba is now approaching China for most unsportsmanlike conduct in the Olympics ("unsportsman-rike" to the Chinese). And today Castro defended this guy. Either way, he totally gave that ref beaver-face.

Lightmark

2008-08-25T15:38:00.009-04:00

This website has some really cool photos that must be long-exposure or something to capture these light trails. The site's in some Scandinavian language so I'm not really sure what they did, but the pictures look really cool.

(Through Neatorama)

Top 20 Scary Moments

2008-08-25T12:27:00.003-04:00

Spill has a pretty good list about the top disturbing moments in movies. I personally love a good horror movie, they may be cheesy and unrealistic but they keep me entertained. There are some though that are beyond entertaining and are just absolutely terrifying. This list covers some great horror movies, some really sick ones, and some that are practically unwatchable. Notably missing though is the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, probably the scariest movie I've ever seen.

Baseball and Football

2008-08-25T12:17:00.005-04:00

This is great - George Carlin on the differences between the two. Baseball doesn't come out on top. How you like that Beau?

Twerk Sumthin

2008-08-25T11:45:00.003-04:00

Baby showers are suddenly looking more appealing:

She apparently didn't heed the age-old proverb "Work that body, work that body, make sure you don't hurt nobody."

Black Kids - Partie Traumatic

2008-08-25T10:23:00.000-04:00

These guys have a show coming up in October at The Black Cat in D.C. I've only heard a few of their songs but they're pretty good and they're supposed to put on a good show. The name's a bit of a misnomer though.

Myspace Page

Best Head Explosions

2008-08-24T16:08:00.005-04:00

Cotton and Sand has a list (with videos) of the best head explosions in movie history. It's pretty good, there are definitely a few that had me cracking up.

Hilarious, right? One that's notably missing though is this scene from Wes Craven's Deadly Friend.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer blowing up the mean old lady from the Goonies' head? With a basketball? Sweet.

"It's So Cold in the D"

2008-08-24T15:58:00.004-04:00

"The D" being Detroit - and I think the temperature is the least of their worries.

This video seriously calls into question the notion that all black people have rhythm. It also calls into question the U.S. law that allows do-it-yourself haircoloring to be sold over the counter at CVS. At least it matches the shirt.

Like a Virgin

2008-08-24T15:19:00.007-04:00

Well, didn't have to look too far today to find something offensive:

What are those things to the left and right of her crotch? Decoy vaginas? This picture is from her new music tour, where she apparently has a video montage that compares John McCain to Adolf Hitler and Robert Mugabe. Sorry saggy tits, just because you'd make a great Presidential cocksucker doesn't really make you qualified to call McCain a Nazi.

Her dad must be proud, but hey, at least she's good at something.

Ray LaMontagne - Hold You In My Arms; Trouble

2008-08-24T15:16:00.001-04:00

Ray LaMontagne is in that same vein as Ben Harper, Jack Johnson, Amos Lee, etc., but he definitely has a unique voice, he has some great songs.

Myspace Page

Stripper Blooper

2008-08-24T04:56:00.000-04:00

God, don't quit your day job.

The hilarity starts at about 2:30 in:

I'm not really sure if she survives

Nikki B's Blog, Meow

2008-08-22T15:38:00.005-04:00

That little journalist Nikki B has her own blog right here on Blogger as well. Like a Katie Couric that doesn't fucking suck, Nikki's blog covers everything from animal rights to politics, to celeb updates and everything in between. Check it out here:

Life in the Nikki & Kinki-dom

And don't forget to leave her a "Meow" or two in her comments.

Way To Go Girls!

2008-08-22T13:42:00.005-04:00

Glad to see some people out there who still have some respect for the President.

Whether they agree with his politics or not, they're at least appreciative that the most powerful man in the world came out to support them and their country. Go USA!

What Does He Put In The Finger Holes?

2008-08-22T10:28:00.005-04:00

Dude better watch out, as slick as bowling alleys are he might fly down the lane and be mistaken for a gutter ball.

Armless Bowler Gets A Strike - Watch more free videos

Do you think they have to rent him one shoe for that little foot?

Oil Check

2008-08-22T09:57:00.004-04:00

That's all...

2008 College Football Spreadsheet

2008-08-22T08:53:00.009-04:00

The 2008 college football schedule is here, this spreadsheet is awesome. It lets you sort all of the schedules by conference, and you can then print individual schedules up at work if you want to post this somewhere in the office or at home. You can download it here:

2008_COLLEGE_FOOTBALL.xls

RJD2 - The Horror

2008-08-22T08:37:00.006-04:00

This guy is badass, he does mostly instrumental stuff that kind of sounds like underground hip hop. He'll sample songs here and there though. If you like this check out "Ghostwriter" and " True Confessions."

Myspace Page

Internet Links - 8/21/08

2008-08-21T18:00:00.002-04:00

Today's Links

The Washington Post has an article about how Pandora is on the verge of shutting down. I hope they find a way to resolve this, its a great way to find out about new music.

Here's an article about all the great Olympic sex the athletes are having in Beijing. I'm sure Michael Phelps' goofy ass is ear-deep in it.

No more Cheetos for Britney Spears? They go together like a grilled-cheese sandwich and tomato soup. I'll believe it when I see it.

Hip hop Republicans? Kind of makes sense in the same way that 50 Cent calls George W. "a gangsta" because he had the balls to go into Afghanistan and Iraq.

Those cheeky Brits.

The GUNshow

2008-08-21T17:39:00.003-04:00

Favorite part: when he refers to the air hole as a "shaved vag"

Great dinner party guest, Craps McKenzie.

What a Jerk

2008-08-21T13:30:00.005-04:00

This just shows that typical cop power-trip mentality. You know, I understand that the guy shouldn't have been on the phone and driving so fast, but just provide an escort or take the girl and dog to the vet while you deal with his speeding. I think I would have lost my shit when he said "It's just a dog, you can get another one."

Brett Dennen - She's Mine; Ain't No Reason

2008-08-21T10:44:00.006-04:00

I just heard about this guy from a coworker, he's really good.

Myspace Page

Jimmy

2008-08-20T20:18:00.002-04:00

Whatever Happened to Monopoly?

2008-08-20T20:03:00.002-04:00

Hungry Hungry Hippos' lesser-known rival:

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Diseases I Could Live With

2008-08-20T18:19:00.008-04:00

I just came across an article about a woman who has almost
200 orgasms a day. The story claims she "suffers" from Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome, but the big shit-eating grin on her face in her picture leads me to believe that we have two different definitions of suffering. Though this part of the story sounds like it could get dangerous:

"I was doing a bikini wax and you have to really concentrate and keep your hands very still, and mine go a bit wobbly when I orgasm. I had to pretend I had cramp in my foot and just stood there wriggling around on the spot and stifling my moans until it was over."

Apparently she developed it as a side effect of taking anti-depressants, so Prozac here we come!

It seems that British people get all of the cool diseases (probably as some sort of consulation prize for the teeth), because this story covers a man who is unable to get fat. He has a condition called lipodystrophy that causes him to produce too much insulin. He can eat anything he wants and as much as he wants without ever getting fat.

This disease sounds promising too. Kleine-Levin syndrome is characterized by excessive sleep (up to 20 hrs/day), excessive eating, and an abnormally uninhibited sexual drive. So basically you sleep all day and get up for 4 hours to feed and breed. PLUS you'd get a doctor's note excusing you from work, and they prescribe you uppers for treatment. Not too shabby. Unfortunately it's not contagious.

Colored Lakes

2008-08-20T17:41:00.009-04:00

Environmental Graffiti has a cool post about different colored lakes from around the world, I'd love to be able to check some of these out. Maybe not the blood-colored one that stinks, but the others are cool.

The above lake is Five Flower Lake in China, near Tibet. There is a lot of dissolved calcium carbonate in the water that leaches in from the rocks below, so it not only makes the water ultra-clear but also preserves the tree trunks and debris on the bottom.

Environmental Graffiti

(Found through Neatorama)

Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire

2008-08-20T10:12:00.009-04:00

Kings of Leon have a new album coming out towards the end of September, this is the first or second single they're releasing. These guys are really awesome in concert, I got to see them the last time they were in D.C. at the 9:30 Club, hopefully they'll be coming back around for this album.

Myspace Page

"I'm Walking on Sunshine"

2008-08-20T09:50:00.002-04:00

Next time you think you have problems, watch this:

You kind of feel sorry for her, but then she gets that goofy look in her eyes and you can't help but laugh.

*UPDATE*

Here's the remix

Fupa Chalupa

2008-08-19T18:27:00.002-04:00

The most ridiculous thing you'll see all day:

FUPA

The Teenagers - Vodka

2008-08-19T18:24:00.003-04:00

The only thing that sucks - they're French. Meaning they look like this:

Myspace Page

Gymnastics Bloopers

2008-08-19T18:20:00.000-04:00

Ghetto Ice Cream

2008-08-19T18:18:00.000-04:00

I'd hate to see what these people would do for a Klondike bar...

The Roast of Bob Saget

2008-08-19T18:14:00.003-04:00

Cloris Leachman may not have taken the title of "Dirtiest Old Woman in Hollywood" yet from Florence Henderson, but she's giving her a run for her money. Nothing beats the line from Jeffrey Ross at Pam Anderson's roast: "How is it that Kurt Cobain looks better than Courtney Love?" Ten years after he died. To Courtney Love's face.

Blockhead - Insomniac Olympics

2008-08-19T17:25:00.007-04:00

I don't know too much about this guy, but this song is really cool, I'm gonna have to check out more of his stuff. Definitely good background music for work.

Insomniac Olympics

Myspace Page

Hi Everybody

2008-08-19T17:21:00.000-04:00

So I've been thinking about starting a blog for a while now, if for nothing else then just to have an outlet for all of the useless trivia floating around inside my head. For those of you that enjoy my sometimes (read: always) inappropriate sense of humor, this should help you get more than your fill. I'm sure I'll throw in some politics, music, and local D.C. stuff whenever I see it, and hopefully can have some interesting stuff on here for those in the know. Drop me some comments and let me know any suggestions you have for the site, your feedback is appreciated. Here we go...